It's always raining in my head....

Well, it seems as soon as I start getting comfortable at my mom's, all hell breaks loose. I won't go into details. But today has been shitty. And it's pretty sad that all I have is this stupid journal to talk to really.

I really am in my self-hating mood today. I don't know why, but everytime anything goes wrong I blame myself. I hate myself for imposing on my mom and her boyfriend. I hate myself for eating because we're doing badly. I hate myself for not being able to help. I hate how weak I seem to have become in my ability to handle things.

I feel there's another me, a small child-me. And she's lost and confused and hurting all the time. I try to stifle this little pathetic child. I hate her because she's weak.

I hate wanting to cry.

And I hate writing these stupid journals. I know it's pretty emo and angsty.

I have a headache.